Art and Alchemy: From Disenchantment to Empowerment

Renegade Rose 2023 | Jane E Porter

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”  Brené Brown

So, here goes 😬 …

Ever since I was a child, I have been both fascinated and terrified by the absolute absurdity of human beings. What started out as hope, almost unwittingly transmogrified into a cacophony of disenchantment.; Only a resonance of how I believed life was meant to be remained and the dawn of a new reality emerged.

The departure of love is not as painful as one might think, as it quickly becomes the status quo, the new you.  Adorning the robes of the rejected adds weight to the creative endeavour, giving licence to do, whatever the hell you like.   

Yet the unrelenting pull towards a warmer life, unconscious though it may have been, left an aching emptiness that no amount of creative output could soothe.  Slipping into the abyss, I can only describe as the most horrendous, and later transformative time of my life.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”  Brené Brown

There was a certain fear of relinquishing the dark matter – who will I be, will I have any substance?  Will I be left with the remnants of a limited capacity to only produce pastiche?  Isn’t misery the essence of great art?  It may or may not be, but eventually, misery leads to death, either in physical form or in spirit.  

The depth of my experiences, from childhood to each new moment, dark and light, still seep into my work without invitation. I could, of course, suppress them, but I’ve found that truth finds its way out through a myriad of media. And isn’t that what real art is about, expressing what can’t be said in words, however light, dark or inappropriate?   

I believe we all share the desire for innate expression, connecting me to you and you to me.  Our stories may be a perception or constructed reality, but they still live intently within us longing for a means of message.  

My story is your story, my medium is art. 

If you found this article helpful or you can relate, I'd love to hear from you.  Please leave a comment below or reach out to me by following this link.

Image: Renegade represents a rebellious spirit, strong and resilient. The flowers symbolise femininity, passion and growth.

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Jane E Porter is a fine artist and illustrator from Scotland, dedicated to exploring and understanding the fascinating interplay between art, psychology and philosophy. As she navigates her own search for meaning, she shares insights and observations made over the past two decades with a delightful mix of wit and wisdom. Join her as she continues her journey, delving into these themes, offering you fresh perspectives and insights on art, identity and storytelling.

The Artistic Crossroads: Embracing Vulnerability

I've wanted to start a blog for a long time but wasn't sure if I'd anything to offer.  I'm still unsure but hey, we can't give in to fear, right?  I hope to find my tribe, so we can share our stories, successes, struggles and learn from each other. 

Below is a bit of background to give some context. I hung up my paint brushes around seven years ago (2013) as a series of life events became overwhelming, at times heart-breaking.  For two of those years, I was physically and mentally unable to paint or make art of any kind.  I was burned out and broken. 

During my fine-art absence, I did other creative stuff - graphic design, illustration, digital painting and, recently I illustrated a children's book about recycling.  These pursuits were rewarding and immersing myself in the magical world of children's illustration was lots of fun.

Now, seven years on, the call to painting returns, but do I want to put myself in that place again - applying for shows, rejection and a studio of unsold work collecting dust, or do I focus on becoming a better illustrator?  

Starting over can be both exciting and terrifying.  It's scary and makes me feel vulnerable, but as a fan of Brene Brown, I try to adopt her philosophy of vulnerability being a strength.  

Dr Brown says, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy courage, empathy, and creativity.... If you run away the second those shaky feelings arise, you're just reinforcing the voice in your head that says I'm not good enough." 

If you are an artist and reading this, you may relate and I'd love to hear your thoughts.  What drives you to keep going, even when self-doubt and insecurity keep knocking?

Please leave comments below and have a great week. 

Image - Bird (2012), homage to Charlie Parker, 60 x 90 cm.  Oil and Collage on board

Brene Brown - Daring to be Vulnerable

This is a great Armchair Expert podcast with actor, writer, comedian, and director, B. J. Novak.  Dax and B. J.  talk about their insecurities and struggles that taunt them, despite their success.